Me and Myself...

After the March holidays I had and last week I've travel to East Malaysia again. Although everyone is worrying for influenza HINI lately but I still keep my attendance to the high risk venue "Airport". I should be happy with the leaves approved by my boss but I felt restless. It could be too much of uncertainty on my mind.

I felt tiring with my life... I just don't why! Lost of balance and gain on weight may be...

I'm glad that on my career path with boss assists I learn something for the past few months. Now, my revenue went to the slop and facing the downturn. I'm so worried but yet don't know what to do. No doubt, I'm having some negative thoughts. I'm lossing direction again... I want to back on track but HOW???

I DON'T KNOW!!!

I missed the Italian babe and my dearest DDP lately, I found myself changed. I wanted to be independent and strong but sometimes I just feel myself spoiled by "you". Been telling myself I can do it myself but sometimes I just weak there are too much burden on me and may be the increasing of my age has caught me to worry about my own financial planning. I can't event made a simple decision myself.

Tried not think with the word "IF" but that's the FACT... I just wish to get off from the bloody "$" OUT OF MY WAY and you idiot just stay away from my life forever as when I think of this I can't forgive myself. Without the trouble you brought I can be in Peace.
Oh baby, I'm gonna cooling down as I promised not to mention this again ... but this made me frustrated and up set ...I can't forgive myself with this... stupid me!!! arghhhhhh......

Out of the hundred things, there is one thing that I felt happy at least... oh ya the NewJapanese Babe! I really hope that I can have it as soon as I can and I can return the older Japanese babe to the family. I love the older Japanese Babe too but no point fighting and borrowing from them. Sharing among us but maintenance by ME. I'm the one who support them but NONE of them understand me and why I still need to contribute and support them??? Sometimes I rather stay late in the office, went gym, hanged out with friends and over to the east. Why do I need to take the burden myself? I'm not the only one earning or working? I contribute the most but I just need to have a spaces and some cares, can I?

Do I have the rights to at least speak louder at home? I wish to have something different on my blog instead of the problems. Looking at others blog, it make me pissed off with myself. From day one till now, my life seems never improve...still...